The Ideal Christian Marriage
Friday, November 12 , 2010
Dr. Donald C. Sullivan served with distinction and high accolades in the Florida Senate from 1992 until term limits forced his retirement in 2002. Obviously not ready to end his tenure in the Florida Legislature, Senator Sullivan ran for and was elected to the Florida House. It was not a marriage made in Heaven. Suffice it to say, that the good Senator was not prepared for the pace of dealing with 120 new colleagues and the raucous and tumultuous tempo of the Florida House. Nor, as a freshman representative was he greeted with the reverent treatment he expected as a former senator. Dr. Sullivan thought he was ‘owed’ deferential treatment and was completely miffed when nobody stopped what they were doing and listened to him. To say the least, former Senator Sullivan was unready and unwilling to submit to the new paradigm in which he found himself, and as a result he was terribly frustrated and left the House a short time later. Of course, it wasn’t all Don’s fault, but it points out how hard it can be to have successful relationships.
Successful relationships require that people learn the art of ‘submission’ because we cannot have ‘our way’ all the time. It’s that simple. Whether political, professional or personal, all interpersonal relationships fail or succeed on one’s ability to manage the ‘thrust and parry’ of colliding human egos. The problem can be summed up in the age-old question, “What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?" Something has to give. If you want order – order in the House, in the court, in your business, in your household, and most importantly, in your marriage – someone has to give. Somebody has to submit, at least for the time being.
In Chapter 5 of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul is giving sage advice to the new Christians at ancient Ephesus on how to “be” good Christians. Starting chapter 5 Paul says, “Be ye …” and begins a discussion of actions and character attributes that will distinguish one as a Christian. In short, Paul says that putting others first is a way of honoring Christ, and this applies to the ideal of perfect unity between husband and wife.
21 Honor Christ and put others first. 22 A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord. 23 A husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head and the Savior of the church, which is his own body. 24 Wives should always put their husbands first, as the church puts Christ first. 25 A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. … 28 In the same way, a husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself. A husband who loves his wife shows that he loves himself. Ephesians 5:21-33
Verse 21 speaks to a broader audience than just husbands and wives. Putting others first was not then and is not now the norm. It’s a radical idea. (The advertising slogan “Have it your way” comes to mind.) Yet, Jesus turns the world upside down. For Christians, first is now last and last is first. And, the act of choosing to be last when you could be first honors Christ.
As to the marital relationship in particular, there is no way to ‘dance’ around it – the Bible speaks to the ideal leadership structure for a Christian marriage. It is not optional, but it is divine. It is based on an ideal – the relationship of Christ and the church. I’m not talking about about trite (but often true) saying that, “The husband may be the head of the household, but the wife is the neck that turns the head.” It’s funny, but the wife should not have to do too much turning if her husband is looking the right way.
No matter how repugnant to modern feminists, Paul’s advice is wise. Besides that it is God’s model for finding a peaceful, Christ-filled marital relationship. For those wives to be who have been steeped in decades of misguided feminism, the idea of always putting their husbands first is outright appalling. They cannot seem to get beyond the ‘submission’ part to read the rest of the chapter. If they would read on they would learn that these verses say much more about loving husbands and their imitation of Christ as the head of the church than about the submission of wives to husbands.
Paul points out that Christ is not only the ‘head’ of the church, but more importantly, He is the Savior of the church. The Savior gave his very life for the church – the ultimate sacrifice – and so must a Christian husband respect and love his wife. By loving our wives as much as we love ourselves, husbands will earn the respect of their wives.
The best arena for newly weds to learn these lessons is not under the constant gaze of their parents. As I used to joke, “Behind every successful man is a ... surprised mother-in-law!” Newly weds cannot gain the ideal Christian marriage while being smothered by their well-intentioned parents.
31 As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother to get married, and he becomes like one person with his wife." 32 This is a great mystery, but I understand it to mean Christ and his church. 33 So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband.
The Christian ideal of newly weds separating from their mother and father and starting a new, distinct family is not a suggestion, but a principle espoused by Christ Jesus who told us this is the model, and Paul reconfirms it. When the time comes, Christian parents should make the extra effort to encourage their daughters and sons to begin a new household and strive for the ideal Christian marriage.
Parents submit to God’s plan, and push the newly weds out of the nest so they can find the marital bliss that only Christ can bring.
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The Church: God's United People
Saturday, September 25 , 2010
In the days following the 911 attacks the American people experienced an unprecedented unity. Uncharacteristically, this sense of unity also pervaded the politically contentious Florida Legislature. State Legislators from Pensacola to Miami came together in a special session to address the collective security of all Floridians.
Legislators from all walks of life and political persuasion passed bills that shored up security in Florida in order to brace for the potential of future terrorist attacks. The titles of the bills introduced during that special session say it all. The bills related to terrorism response, emergency responsiveness, terrorism pretrial detention, sentencing for acts of terrorism, communications interception, public records security management, domestic security-counter terrorism, and the like.
Extraordinary circumstances can bring about opportunities for unprecedented unity among people of disparate backgrounds and ideology.
In Ephesians 2, Paul reminds the non-Jewish Christians in Ephesus of the extraordinary grace that God revealed in extending His free gift of salvation to them. Writing around 60 A.D. from house arrest in Rome after an amazing missionary career, Paul seems almost astonished as he reflects upon what God had chosen to do in reconciling the Jews and Gentiles through sacrificial death of Jesus. The church at Ephesus most likely had more Gentiles than Jews, a sign of things to come. With a church of believers from every ethnic background rapidly spreading across the known world, Paul marvels at God’s gracious plan to bring all who will believe near to Him in a united church.
11 Don’t forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. You were called “uncircumcised heathens” by the Jews, who were proud of their circumcision, even though it affected only their bodies and not their hearts. 12 In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope. 13 But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. Ephesians 2:11-13
As a college student at Auburn University I took a class on current legal affairs in the school of business taught by a lawyer who practiced in Auburn. He said that when he was in college in the 1950’s he never had two dimes to rub together. Like most students far away from home, there were some lonely days when it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As he was walking home from the library one chilly night he passed by a restaurant downtown with large plate glass windows facing the sidewalk. He glanced in the window and saw a big family having a gala birthday dinner party. At that very moment the waiter emerged with a birthday cake topped with candles and sparklers presenting it with great aplomb to the patriarch of the family. He froze there on the sidewalk yearning to be inside, and vowed that one day he would be.
The moral my instructor said, was that everyone has felt the sting of rejection or exclusion at one time or another, but in America it can be overcome. Unfortunately, in Alabama at that time and place there were leaders who were unwilling or unable to defend the rights of all Alabama citizens. My teacher would eventually become a lawyer and be able to afford a fancy birthday party at any restaurant he wanted, but for persons of color in Alabama there was a wall of separation standing between them and the hope of a better life for them and their families. The rest is history.
Paul reminds the non-Jewish Christians at Ephesus to reflect on how it felt to be on the outside looking in. In fact, one of the reasons Paul was awaiting trial in Rome was a false accusation that Paul had brought an Ephesian Gentle Christian into a prohibited part of the Temple at Jerusalem, thereby violating a Jewish regulation prohibiting Gentiles from entering the Temple. Acts 21:28-9
As the apostles traveled across Asia Minor, the enmity between the Jews and the Greeks was a continuing challenge. Yet, God’s plan was to extend his grace to the Gentiles who were lost, hopeless and excluded. Paul contrasts the Gentiles’’ former condition with God’s new dispensation of ‘unity’ between all of those united through Jesus. No longer were they Jew or Gentile, but they were now Christian.
14 For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. 15 He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. 16 Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death. Ephesians 2:14-16
What awesome power God has to tear down barriers!
In Paul’s day the thought that there could be peace between the Jews and the Gentiles can be likened to the elusive goal of peace between the modern day Palestinians and Israel. Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir put it best fifty years ago when she observed that peace only results from a change of heart, “Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.”
A heart changing faith in Jesus creates a loving peace among believers resulting in a new creation – the church. And what a marvelous plan it is as God came down in human form to show us that His love cannot be confined to a physical temple or a select group, but is freely available to all who believe.
19 So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. 20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit. Ephesians 2:19-22
The Temple in Jerusalem was eventually destroyed by the Roman army in 70 A.D., but God’s temple, the church, was not. Believers joined together as the church are now God’s dwelling place. That is an amazing thought, but one plainly foretold by Jesus in his conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well:
19"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. 20Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem." 21Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
As God’s temple, the church must not only have something that others see and want to join, but we must reach out and tear down all barriers between the church and those who are on the outside looking in.
Let’s look out the window and hand deliver an invitation to our party.
Read More...
Legislators from all walks of life and political persuasion passed bills that shored up security in Florida in order to brace for the potential of future terrorist attacks. The titles of the bills introduced during that special session say it all. The bills related to terrorism response, emergency responsiveness, terrorism pretrial detention, sentencing for acts of terrorism, communications interception, public records security management, domestic security-counter terrorism, and the like.
Extraordinary circumstances can bring about opportunities for unprecedented unity among people of disparate backgrounds and ideology.
In Ephesians 2, Paul reminds the non-Jewish Christians in Ephesus of the extraordinary grace that God revealed in extending His free gift of salvation to them. Writing around 60 A.D. from house arrest in Rome after an amazing missionary career, Paul seems almost astonished as he reflects upon what God had chosen to do in reconciling the Jews and Gentiles through sacrificial death of Jesus. The church at Ephesus most likely had more Gentiles than Jews, a sign of things to come. With a church of believers from every ethnic background rapidly spreading across the known world, Paul marvels at God’s gracious plan to bring all who will believe near to Him in a united church.
11 Don’t forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. You were called “uncircumcised heathens” by the Jews, who were proud of their circumcision, even though it affected only their bodies and not their hearts. 12 In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope. 13 But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. Ephesians 2:11-13
As a college student at Auburn University I took a class on current legal affairs in the school of business taught by a lawyer who practiced in Auburn. He said that when he was in college in the 1950’s he never had two dimes to rub together. Like most students far away from home, there were some lonely days when it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As he was walking home from the library one chilly night he passed by a restaurant downtown with large plate glass windows facing the sidewalk. He glanced in the window and saw a big family having a gala birthday dinner party. At that very moment the waiter emerged with a birthday cake topped with candles and sparklers presenting it with great aplomb to the patriarch of the family. He froze there on the sidewalk yearning to be inside, and vowed that one day he would be.
The moral my instructor said, was that everyone has felt the sting of rejection or exclusion at one time or another, but in America it can be overcome. Unfortunately, in Alabama at that time and place there were leaders who were unwilling or unable to defend the rights of all Alabama citizens. My teacher would eventually become a lawyer and be able to afford a fancy birthday party at any restaurant he wanted, but for persons of color in Alabama there was a wall of separation standing between them and the hope of a better life for them and their families. The rest is history.
Paul reminds the non-Jewish Christians at Ephesus to reflect on how it felt to be on the outside looking in. In fact, one of the reasons Paul was awaiting trial in Rome was a false accusation that Paul had brought an Ephesian Gentle Christian into a prohibited part of the Temple at Jerusalem, thereby violating a Jewish regulation prohibiting Gentiles from entering the Temple. Acts 21:28-9
As the apostles traveled across Asia Minor, the enmity between the Jews and the Greeks was a continuing challenge. Yet, God’s plan was to extend his grace to the Gentiles who were lost, hopeless and excluded. Paul contrasts the Gentiles’’ former condition with God’s new dispensation of ‘unity’ between all of those united through Jesus. No longer were they Jew or Gentile, but they were now Christian.
14 For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. 15 He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. 16 Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death. Ephesians 2:14-16
What awesome power God has to tear down barriers!
In Paul’s day the thought that there could be peace between the Jews and the Gentiles can be likened to the elusive goal of peace between the modern day Palestinians and Israel. Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir put it best fifty years ago when she observed that peace only results from a change of heart, “Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.”
A heart changing faith in Jesus creates a loving peace among believers resulting in a new creation – the church. And what a marvelous plan it is as God came down in human form to show us that His love cannot be confined to a physical temple or a select group, but is freely available to all who believe.
19 So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. 20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit. Ephesians 2:19-22
The Temple in Jerusalem was eventually destroyed by the Roman army in 70 A.D., but God’s temple, the church, was not. Believers joined together as the church are now God’s dwelling place. That is an amazing thought, but one plainly foretold by Jesus in his conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well:
19"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. 20Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem." 21Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
As God’s temple, the church must not only have something that others see and want to join, but we must reach out and tear down all barriers between the church and those who are on the outside looking in.
Let’s look out the window and hand deliver an invitation to our party.
Read More...
God's Mighty Weapons
Saturday, August 28 , 2010
"People are difficult to govern because they have too much knowledge." Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism
Information leads to knowledge, and knowledge is power.
I was perplexed when I first heard the term "Information Age." Now I get it. The Internet has been the greatest weapon against ignorance in the history of mankind. (By the way, the inventor of the Internet was Tim Berners-Lee.)
When I was first elected in 1996, there weren't many ways for constituents to know what was going on in the Capitol. In fact, the only way was reading articles in the local papers written by the Tallahassee press corps. Having seen how the print media reporters and editorial boards 'filtered' the news during my campaign, I knew that direct communication with constituents was going to be essential.
I began to spend about half of my monthly House expense allotment on postage for the thousands of letters and updates mailed to the folks in my District. At one point the House administration cut off my allotment of House letterhead and envelopes!
When I became Speaker, I reassigned a number of House staffers to form a communications department to assist the House Members in communicating directly with their constituents through TV, radio, direct mail and email. Of course, the Tallahassee print media corps went ballistic when they realized I was doing an ‘end run’ around their ability to ‘filter’ what news got out of Tallahassee. In fact, that was the old print media’s main source of power – controlling what information came out of Tallahassee. Until this day, when I run into former legislators they thank me for the ability to speak unfiltered to their constituents.
Today, I am pleased to see that the information age has completely washed the foundation from under the heretofore powerful, and biased, print media. Suffice it to say that the advent of the information age confirms the age-old notion that power needs to control information.
The art of communicating ideas is no new thing. In 2 Corinthians 10, Paul continues to defend his ministry with the church he started in Corinth by clearly addressing the ancient Greeks’ ingrained acceptance of the art of rhetoric as an end unto itself. To the Greeks the medium was the measage. The Greeks at Corinth knew Paul’s oratorical skills were lacking, but ... Read More...
Factions - Is Christ Divided?
Friday, June 04 , 2010
“Man is made to adore and to obey: but if you will not command him, if you give him nothing to worship, he will fashion his own divinities, and find a chieftain in his own passions.” Benjamin Disraeli
Just like a church, to say that there are ‘factions’ within any legislative body is an understatement.
For example, it is the tradition in the Florida Legislature that the legislators of each political party select one of their own as ‘speaker-designate’ to serve as Speaker of the House in the event that their party wins a majority of the 120 House seats in the upcoming election. In other words, the internal process of selecting the one who will rise to the office of Speaker of the House can go on for years with the members dividing into various factions supporting one candidate or another.
After I was selected as speaker-designate and even after I was elected Speaker, the contest to determine my successor narrowed down to a hotly contested campaign between Miami legislator Gaston Cantens and Panama City legislator Alan Bense. The process raged on for several years, but finally Bense won the approval of the majority of the Republican caucus. Unfortunately, the members remained so polarized that they continued to self-identify themselves not as Republicans, but as either being on the Bense team or the Cantens team.
Because of this disunity, the focus on a conservative agenda was ‘put on the back burner’ as the factions jousted for leadership within the Republican caucus. Eventually, the Democrats ... Read More...
